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Last updated on July 2nd, 2024 at 10:32 pm
Feeling fat is usually a coping tool that allows you to have a physical placeholder for difficult emotions.
If you’ve ever said to yourself or someone you care about “I feel so fat!” you’re likely experiencing the very difficult emotions that come from weight stigma in our culture, rather than an actual physical sensation of body fatness.
For example, “feeling fat” might be synonymous with feelings like:
- Guilt
- Shame
- Inadequacy
- Loneliness
- Grief
Because body fatness is something we feel we can control on some level (for example, we are told we can lose weight), it makes it seem like the perfect tool to take the place of all of those pesky emotions that seem so noisy!
In this article we will dig into some of the physical and emotional reasons that may lead to someone feeling fat, and what we can do to reduce these feelings.
Why Do I Feel So Fat
Feeling fat is a very common phenomenon for almost everyone in western culture. It is a common response to diet culture and thin privilege.
Let’s face it. Western society was not created for fat bodies. Feelings of body fatness are likely to be amplified by:
- Not being able to find clothes that fit
- Having to purchase two seats on an airplane
- Not being able to buy sporting gear because of your size
Bottom line: NONE Of these things is your fault. We really need to be pointing the finger at the real monster: spaces and products that don’t fit the ACTUAL bodies that exist in our society comfortably.
To top it off, we’re taught to have shame and guilt when it comes to our body by our most influential systems including:
- Healthcare systems
- Educational settings
- Public spaces not accessible to people in larger bodies
With all of these in place, It’s no wonder most people feel fat most of their lives!
Feeling fat actually has very little to do with your body and everything to do with fatphobia. Fat bodies exist in a world that wasn’t designed to accommodate over 60% of the population whose bodies are larger than a BMI of 25.
Exploring the racist roots of the BMI scale can help us understand that the standard we use as the hallmark of health is not founded by science. BMI is also highly inaccurate in predicting health, but highly effective in causing body shame and anxiety.
Fat Is Not A Feeling
While it is true that you can grip onto a part of our body that contains body fat and experience a physical sensation, the feeling itself is not “fat.”
A better way to explain how fat is not a feeling is by using other parts of our body as an illustration.
For example, we do not say:
- I feel fingernails
- I feel hair
- I feel legs
- I feel lips
While of course you have legs and lips and hair, and you can touch them and hold them, it would be pretty silly to use these body parts to describe an emotion. The same goes for fat.
In fact, you probably spend very little time thinking about the experience of your legs, lips, and fingernails unless those areas of the body are hurting or agitated.
It is safe to presume that the feelings you have associated with body fat have very little to do with the fat itself, but rather the emotions we have attached to what it means to be fat.
A physical sensation does not translate to an emotion. While you can certainly have emotions about what you experience physically, it is helpful to separate these two experiences.
Physical Sensations With Body Fat
Much of the physical discomfort with body fatness can come from emotional resistance to the current physical state.
For example, do you find yourself:
- Resisting going up a clothing size
- Going without accommodations like a cane or a scooter if needed
- Not wearing appropriate shoes
- Pushing your body too hard on a workout
- Not using appropriate modifications during workouts
- Not seeking appropriate accommodations in public spaces
- Not wearing anti-chafing clothing and creams when necessary
- Using exercise gear that doesn’t fit your body
- Pushing your body past its physical limits
- Not choosing breathable underwear
- Attributing unrelated injury or illness to body fatness
- Shopping at clothing stores not designed for your body
To decrease physical discomfort that you might associate with living in a larger body, first check in to make sure you are caring for and respecting your body in a way that meets its actual physical needs.
Attempts to lose weight or change your body probably won’t stop you from feeling fat. The only way to decrease feeling fat is to improve your overall body image.
By appropriately caring for your body you are likely to decrease many of the “feelings of fatness” you may experience.
Fact-Checking “Feeling Fat”
Far too often we associate body fatness with physical limitations. For example, I might hear someone say “I feel fat because I get winded when I walk up the stairs.”
If we were to fact-check our statements about body fatness and walking up the stairs we would see:
- That people of all body sizes get winded when walking up a flight of stairs
- That the more you walk up a flight of stairs, the less winded you will likely be
- That we can increase our cardio capacity without focusing on shrinking our body
Physically Experiencing Fatness Isn’t Bad
You are most likely to notice body fatness when:
- Body fatness has changed (increase or decrease in weight)
- You’re getting comments on your body
- You’re body checking frequently
Instead of feeling shame and guilt about body fatness, try asking yourself these questions:
- Is my body hurting?
- Is there something that I could do to make my body more comfortable right now?
- Am I simply unfamiliar with the way my body is feeling (for example an increase in weight).
Remember that experiencing new sensations in your body doesn’t always mean that these sensations are bad or wrong.
Just like any other life change, changes in the body will require mental adjustment and compassion before they become familiar.
Is Feeling Fat Body Dysmorphia
Feeling fat would not likely fall under body dysmorphia according to the parameters set forth in the DSM-IV.
However, just because there is not a clinical diagnosis for the struggle you might be experiencing when it comes to your body, it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve help.
A qualified haes dietitian and therapist can support you in working through
It’s important to consider that feeling fat in some cases can be a warning sign of an eating disorder. If you’re scared to tell someone you have an eating disorder, seek out a trusted healthcare provider, friend or family member.
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