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Last updated on September 29th, 2024 at 05:49 pm
When I was recovering from my eating disorder, getting rid of my anorexia clothes was the hardest part of my journey. Getting rid of your eating disorder clothes can feel like an identity crisis, and is sometimes one of the most difficult steps in ed recovery.
A change in clothing size is a very physical representation of your body changing as it heals from your eating disorder. This can feel traumatic.
Parting with your eating disorder clothes often includes:
- Grieving your smaller body
- Trusting your body to know what it’s doing
- Accepting that your body won’t go back to a former size
- Learning to explore how clothing feels on a different body
- Knowing that you deserve to eat even though your body has changed
Despite the discomfort of change, there is nothing more satisfying than getting new clothes you feel comfortable in both physically and emotionally after your eating disorder.
This article explores how to do a clothing purge of your eating disorder clothes, how to shop for new clothes and how to to work through the emotional discomfort of sizing up.
What To Remember About Your ED Clothes
The clothing industry in industrialized countries is nothing like the clothing that exists throughout the world and throughout history.
Let’s transition the idea that your body is supposed to fit into clothing and instead remember that clothing was designed to fit you.
Literally. If we were to step back in time they would probably be laughing at the idea that there is even such thing as a “size” of clothing.
Clothing was originally intended to:
- Be custom fitted to the person wearing it
- Have material added or removed as the body changed
- Have adaptability for life changes such as pregnancy
- Serve multiple functions and purposes
- Be transferred from one person to the next with alterations expected
Clothing sizes are a very modern element of fashion.
Stop Letting Your Sick Clothes Own You
You probably have a clothing size in your mind that you think is “your size.” I jokingly call this idea my “clothing prescription.”
But have you ever noticed that even when your body weight doesn’t change, it’s impossible to go from one store to the next selecting the same size and having each item of clothing fit your body?
This is because there is no universal size chart. Even though your eating disorder voice is probably telling you something like “You need to fit into a size 7” this is ALWAYS a losing battle because sizing charts change by brand, material, and fit of the clothing.
You probably have thoughts about clothing sizes like:
- I’ve always been a size 7
- Growing up my size matched or did not match my age (and that was right or wrong)
- If I don’t fit a size 7 I have let myself go
- If I can’t fit every size 7 (which we have discussed is impossible) that means I need to lose weight
- If I am smaller than a size 7 that means I’ve lost weight and I’m doing “good”
When you start to divest from the idea that your “clothing prescription” is part of YOU, you get to take your power back. You get to reclaim your artistic vision and style when selecting clothes.
Why Should I Get Rid of My Anorexia Clothes
Your anorexia clothes keep you in your eating disorder. They are a continuous physical reminder of your sick body.
You should get rid of your eating disorder clothes because:
- They are a gateway for picking up old ed behaviors
- They are a constant source of guilt for not being a “thinner version” of you
- They take up space that could be reserved for clothes that fit
- They can be a form of body-checking
- They’re uncomfortable, and will constantly make you feel like you’re failing
- They can be gifted to someone in a different body size that will love them
How To Do An ED Clothing Purge
Have a Yes, No, and Maybe Pile
When you first start to sort out your old clothes separate them into three piles. The “no” pile should include clothes you don’t like or you know have no fit for a long time. Don’t even bother trying on the “no” pile of clothes.
The yes pile should include clothes that can easily accommodate your changing body. These might include sweatpants, dresses, or clothing with flexibility. The yes pile might also include clothing you know still fits you.
The maybe pile will likely be the most
Have a Friend Help You
Having a friend work with you through both getting rid of old clothes and shopping for new ones can be helpful.
A friend can help you sort through your old clothes objectively and stay rational. Remember, they don’t have the emotional attachment to these clothing pieces that you do
For example, if you pull out a pair of pants from high school that have seen better days they can help you realize that it’s most logical to just put these in the “no” clothing pile without a second thought.
Have A Storage Tote Ready
A storage tote in your eating disorder clothing purge can be a great tool. These might include no and maybe clothes you’re just not ready get rid of for emotional reasons.
While the goal isn’t to try to keep your eating disorder clothes (keeping clothes that don’t fit can be a quick gateway back to your eating disorder) getting these clothes into a storage tote can be a powerful tool in helping to separate them from your identity.
In six months, revisit the clothing tote (don’t open it up) and ask yourself if you’ve truly missed these clothing items. The answer will probably be no. At that point, it will be much easier to part with these clothing items.
Challenges With Sizing Up In Clothes In ED Recovery
There are some very real challenges with sizing up in clothing that might have nothing to do with eating disorder thoughts.
Some challenges with shopping for new clothes in ed recovery include:
- Shopping for new clothes can be expensive. Especially if you need to size up more than once (which is normal).
- You may have emotional investment in the financial cost it took to acquire your eating disorder clothes and be resistant to parting with them
- Each item of clothing has a story. It might be a memory in your favorite dress at the best concert of all time. Letting go of the clothing might feel like losing a connection to your favorite memories.
- If you live in a large body, you may not have as many options for shopping for clothes
- Not all clothing styles may be available in all sizes
It’s important to know that these challenges in sizing up in clothing do not mean that you are doing anything wrong.
Having unlimited resources to purchase new clothing is a luxury very few of people have. It can be helpful to acknowledge that limited resources for purchasing and finding new clothing you love aren’t a problem with your body changing. It’s a problem with capitalist systems of oppression.
Shopping For Clothes in ED Recovery
Start collecting clothes in larger sizes even before your body changes. These can be hand-me-downs, discount items, or just items you love. This will ensure your body is always comfortable and you feel good about the clothes you’re wearing as your body changes.
Some tips for shopping for new clothes in eating disorder recovery include:
- Buy a variety of loose-fitting and form-fitting clothes. It might be easier to wear loose-fitting clothes initially as you are familiar with your new body.
- Turn away from the mirror when you try on clothes.
- After you decide you like how you look and feel turn around and observe your body in the clothes in the mirror
- Grab 2-3 sizes of the clothes you would like to try on. Start with the largest size and work your way down until you find one that feels good on your body
- Don’t overwhelm yourself. Start with 1-3 items just to get the experience
- Shop at thrift stores or discount racks. If the cost is low enough, you might choose to not even try items on at the store. You can always return what doesn’t fit.
- Listen to music or talk with a friend to help distract you while you’re shopping
- Understand the purpose of an outfit isn’t to be appealing to others. Own your style.
- Stop using clothing tags to define your identity
- Ditch the scale
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