My Binge Free Life

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Last updated on May 21st, 2025 at 07:01 pm

I remember the first time I binged.  It was on cheese pizza, breadsticks, and soda.  From there, the quantity of food escalated and I became out of control.  I couldn’t imagine ever being binge free.  

Little did I know that being binge free would require: 

• Letting go of control around food
• Unconditional permission to eat
• Complete body acceptance, including allowing permission for my body to change

Have you ever felt out of control with food?

If you feel like once you start you just can’t stop when it comes to food, you have likely experienced a binge.  

Let’s explore what leads to a binge, what a binge feels like, and how to ultimately become binge free. 

What is A Binge

A binge happens when: 

• You eat a volume of food larger than most could eat at one time
• You feel like you physically can’t stop eating
• You feel like you are obsessed with food
• You feel extreme guilt and shame after the meal 

A binge is less about the quantity of food you eat as it is about feeling a lack of control and guilt. 

My appetite by nature is larger than most people that are my body weight and height. This means on a regular basis, I will generally need to consume more food than these people to sustain my body size. 

However, when I was binging there was a very clear lack of control, urgency, and food guilt associated with the experience. It was not just about larger than “usual” quantities of food. 

Why I Started Binging

I actually started binging because I was restricting my food.  This started with extreme picky eating (otherwise known as ARFID) My binging was later triggered by multiple bouts of anorexia. 

Weirdly, binging was a way to: 

• Control my environment
• Manage my emotions 
• Nourish a starving body 
• Decrease stress 
• Socialize 

But it didn’t feel like that.  It just felt like I was spiraling out of control. It felt like every time I started eating I was never going to stop. 

This led me to: 

• Skip meals
• Put limits on my portions
• Not keep certain foods in the house
• Throw away food to keep me from eating it
• Eat all the fear foods to keep me from eating them the next day
• Binge on sugar and tell myself I was never going to eat it again

Little did I know, all of my laborious efforts attempting to restrict only led me to bigger binges.  This is called the binge restrict cycle. 

What Does Binge Eating Feel Like

Some words that I have heard used to describe what a binge feels like include: 

• A food coma
• A blackout
• Addiction
• Hoover moments 

This is what a binge feels like:

1. Yay I feel great: Food starts out tasting amazing due to a surge of serotonin
2. Food is less exciting: Serotonin levels begin to decrease as the meal progresses
3. Food guilt kicks in: I need to chase the “feel good rush” of serotonin to mask this guilt by eating MORE!
4. I’m mentally and physically sick: All that is left is guilt, shame, and pain

At some point in my binges, it felt almost mechanical.  Like I was a robot that had only one goal which was to eat as much food as possible until it was gone.  I could no longer distinguish between appetite and hunger.

I would mentally assign portions to anyone that I was dining with.  And I would gobble up my mentally prescribed portion as fast as possible in case they wanted the other people at the table to try to get to it first. 

I would become enraged if a person didn’t finish the portion that I had mentally assigned them. That would mean my binge would continue past the threshold I had expected. I would repeatedly try to go “all-in” in stopping my binging by excessively restricting myself. Which ultimately made the problem worse!

If you’re unsure if you are experiencing binge eating you can take the binge eating quiz.

My Weekend Binging

During the week, I had a schedule.  

My schedule helped me restrict by: 

• Having something to do where eating was not permitted 
• Having work obligations that required me to skip breakfast 
• Working long hours so that meals were scarce
• Skipping lunch with the argument that I forgot to meal prep 

During the weekend, I allowed myself to have a “free pass.” This of course always led to binging, because my body knew my big plan was to restrict when Monday hit. 

I also pooled all my social events into the weekend, of which I gave myself “unconditional permission to eat” with the promise of restricting on Monday.  

The worst thing we can do is fast after a cheat day or weekend binge. This will start the cycle all over again.

Binge Eating Relapse  

I had three major bouts of binge eating.  This is better defined as having binge eating and two episodes of binge eating relapse.  

Binge eating relapse is caused by: 

• Intentional weight loss and the body’s attempt at weight loss rebound 
• Food restriction (mental or physical)
• Food rules 

How I Became Binge Free

I practiced stop, drop, and feel

Interrupting a binge can be one of the most difficult things to do. With stop drop and feel you: 

• Stop during the middle of your binge (assure yourself you can go back later)
• Drop: into your body and emotional needs
• Feel: truly feel and write down or say out loud your emotions

Sometimes I would continue a binge after this, but it allowed me to practice very difficult symptom interruption. 

It also allowed me to practice identifying and sitting with difficult emotions. 

I leaned into a binge

The worst thing you can do as a binge eater is tell yourself “I will not binge.” This is actually just a form of restriction and will get you thinking about binging even more! 

For example, if I said to you “Don’t think about white bears” what are you thinking about? 

Instead, I leaned into my binge

• I said out loud “I am experiencing a binge”
• I tried to identify the way my body was feeling at each stage of the binge
• I said out loud what I was feeling physically and emotionally 
• I tried to view my binge without big emotions attached
• I tried to move on with my day without guilt

I added but never subtracted when it came to food

When I would start to think “I really should be eating something healthy” I would put what I was craving on the plate and then add something I considered “healthy” to it. 

This helped do several things: 

• Break up the monotony of a binge (the urge to continue with a certain taste, texture)
• Allowed permission to eat all foods 
• Started with a fear food (a food I would binge on) but the “healthy” food mad things seem safer

I tracked the days I was binge free

This is a great little tool that doubles as a reward system.  I would simply take a calendar and put a sticker on the days I was binge free. 

My goal was NOT to see how long I could go being 100% binge free (this is a control tactic and will lead to bigger binges). 

Instead, I used the calendar to track my binge behavior from month to month.  For example, If I binged 16 times in May, I would compare that to how many times I experienced a binge in June. 

I kept a list of activities with immediate rewards 

Binges are highly rewarding. It will feel almost impossible at first to find something that compares.  However, know that the reward you feel with non-binge behaviors will increase as you practice it and as binging decreases. 

I used intuitive eating

Intuitive eating is the process of tuning into your body’s needs when it comes to making food decisions. 

Intuitive eating is not appropriate for someone when they are first recovering from binge eating because they don’t have the capacity to navigate hunger and fullness cues. 

However, once you are able to get a routine in for meals and snacks this is a great next step. 

I kept all food in the house

When I was binging there were certain foods I wouldn’t go near.  Some of my off-limits foods were pizza, ice cream cones, and peanut butter. 

Slowly putting these foods back into the house and giving myself food freedom helped me feel safe with these foods. I knew I could have them anytime. 

I stopped compulsive exercise 

When I was binge eating, I was also compulsively exercising for several hours a day.  

I would restrict and exercise during the day and binge eat at night.  During my recovery, I practiced complete exercise cessation. I didn’t add exercise back into my routine until I was confident I could practice more intuitive movement. 

I pushed my binges off for five minutes 

The hallmarks of a binge are: 

• Urgency
• Eating fast 
• Lack of control

When I would get the urge to binge, I would practice pushing the binge back for 5 minutes instead of diving right in.  

This helped me to practice behaviors opposite to what my eating disorder wanted. 

Binge Eating Recovery Meal Plan 

A binge-eating meal plan can help you to normalize meals and snacks in your binge eating recovery journey.  

The goals of the binge recovery meal plan are to: 

1. Normalize meals and snacks
2. Eat regularly throughout the day
3. Ensure adequate intake 
4. Increase the variety of food choices 

Using A Binge Eating Meal Plan To Become Binge Free

The really important thing to remember about a binge recovery meal plan is that the recommendations in the meal plan are minimum guidelines. 

You should NOT stop eating if you are hungry or craving something just because you have met the requirements of your meal plan. Refusing to go above meal plan recommendations is a form of restriction and will escalate binging.  

You will need to go above the requirements of this meal plan to stop binge eating. 

Binge Eating Meal Plan Example

Breakfast: 

• Oatmeal with blueberries and peanut butter with a glass of milk
• =2 grains, 1 fruit, 1 dairy 1 protein, 1 fat

Morning Snack: 

• carrots and hummus
• =1 protein, 1 veg

Lunch: 

• Roast beef sandwich( with lettuce and tomato, mayonnaise, cheese) &  applesauce
• =2 grains, 1 veg, 1 fruit, 0.5-1 dairy, 2 protein, 1 fat/oil

Afternoon Snack: 

• 1 medium banana, peanut butter 
• =2 fruit, 1 protein, 1 fat

Dinner: 

• Spaghetti with meatballs, mixed green salad with dressing and milk 
• =2 grains, 3 proteins, 1 veg, 0.5-1 dairy, 1 fat