I Wish I Had More Control With Food

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Last updated on March 27th, 2026 at 02:53 pm

I Feel Out Of Control With Food

Let’s be honest. Food control doesn’t usually start because someone wants to control food. It starts because something feels out of control. Maybe it’s your body. Maybe it’s your emotions. Maybe it’s your life.

Let me say this loud and clear:
Western culture is obsessed with control.And it will use food to control YOU all day long. Let me explain. f

Our culture glorifies the “controlled person” and label them as:

  • Disciplined
  • Goal-driven
  • Ambitious
  • Deserving
  • Lovable
  • Admirable

Let me make it clear- eating according to someone else’s standards and rules actually makes you NONE of these things. It actually doesn’t change anything about you as a person at all other than probably making you feel more irritable and possibly lightheaded.

So it makes sense that the moment we feel out of control—especially with food—it triggers panic, shame, and desperation. Lets debunk this narrative and dig into why you’re need for control is actually controlling YOU!

What Binge Eating Looked Like for Me

Food control doesn’t actually create control.It creates a cycle. When you start to try to control your food, it will slap you around a little bit until it has a full fledged addict to do with what it wishes. I’d like to introduce you to binge eating. AKA- the devil. It’s really hard to explain binge eating unless you’ve had the unfortunate experience of having it own you. But i’ll do my best.

If you’ve ever experienced a binge (raises hand), you are far from alone.
Here is what my binge life looked like:

  • Waking up every morning with a strict plan for what I would eat
  • Avoiding “trigger foods” like they were dangerous
  • Eating entire pizzas, soda, and breadsticks by myself
  • Feeling fiercely protective over food during family meals
  • Mentally mapping out everyone’s portions and racing to get “enough”
  • Feeling distressed when others didn’t finish the portions I assigned them
  • Never feeling full—stopping only out of sheer force, not satisfaction

And here’s the part nobody wants to hear:

The harder you try to control food, the more out of control you actually become. I know, this is frustrating as fuck. I don’t create the rules i’m just the messenger. It’s really hard to tell someone that the ONLY time they feel in control with food is the EXACT reason they feel out of control with food. And that the time you feel SAFE, is actually what needs to change.

Food restriction doesn’t create control. Restriction creates binge eating.

Why Controlling My Food Completely Backfired

The tighter the control gets, the louder your body gets. The more you restrict, the more your brain fixates.The more rules you add, the harder it becomes to feel “in control” at all. Because I felt like I “couldn’t control myself,” I invented a new rule:


Leave the last bite of food on the plate.

“Ah-ha! I win!”
(Or so I believed.)

Controlling food starts to feel like the one place I could finally get a grip. At first, it can even feel productive. I feel disciplined. Focused. “On track.”
Like I was doing something good for myself.

But over time, that control stops feeling empowering… and starts feeling exhausting.

For nearly 20 years I played the “last bite game” without even realizing it, until a boyfriend pointed it out (he actually grabbed the last bite of my sandwich off my plate and said “i’m going to eat this because you never do”).

That’s when I understood:

Leaving one bite wasn’t control. It was fear disguised as discipline. Control is sneaky like that.Fear of weight changes. Fear of certain foods. Fear of losing control if I loosened the rules.Fear of what it means if I just… ate normally.

Control works. Until it doesn’t.

comic book woman with a thought bubble and cake that says "why controlling food backfires"

The Truth About Food Control

One of my favorite reminders to tell my patients is:

“Relax. Nothing is under control.”

Real control isn’t about rigid rules, food policing, or avoiding hunger.
Real control is adaptability—responding to your body and environment rather than fighting them.

When the old desire to control food resurfaces, I remind myself:

“Shena, if you restrict before you’re physically and emotionally satisfied, you’re going straight back into the binge–restrict cycle.”

And honestly? Binge eating still scares me. It scares me enough that, even on my hardest days, I nourish myself to avoid falling back into that cycle.

Here’s what happens every time:

When I continue to eat—even when it feels terrifying—my body eventually says,
“You’re good. We’re done.”

No drama.
No chaos.
Just satisfaction—the thing restriction never gave me.

Shena Jaramillo. Registered Dietitian
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