Why Bikini Season Terrifies Me

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Last updated on June 23rd, 2024 at 09:16 pm

Tis the season of self-loathing and humility, AKA bikini season.  

Many of us associate bikini seasons with: 

• Thin bodies at the beach
• An urgency to lose as much weight as possible
• Fear of being seen 
• An urgency to hide from photographs

Negative thoughts about your body and other people’s bodies are all too prevalent from the time the days start to get longer until the weather cools again. 

Good news! You don’t have to compulsively exercise or restrict your food to hit the beach to feel good about hitting the beach this summer. This is your summer to STOP the diet cycle.

So how exactly do you just show up at the beach in a bathing suit without anxiety? Let’s walk through some ways to help you feel more confident in the skin your in at the beach. 

What Is Bathing Suit Anxiety

Bathing suit anxiety is when you experience intense negative emotions when thoughts of showing your body to others in a bathing suit come up. 

It’s important to note that the bathing suit anxiety I reference in this article is related to insecurities about wearing a bathing suit related to the body, not related to modesty values.

Bathing suit anxiety is when: 

• Water or beaches are avoided because of fear of wearing a bathing suit
• You avoid social gatherings that might require you to wear a bathing suit
• You compare your body to other bodies at the beach or a former version of yourself
• You try to “cover-up” as much as possible not choosing a swimsuit you like but rather one you think will hide your body the most

What Do I Do If I Feel Insecure In A Swimsuit

Diet culture has taught us that there is a certain body prototype that is allowed to wear a bathing suit or a bikini. Spoiler alert: there is no BMI requirement for feeling good. It’s a mindset.

The idea behind who should and shouldn’t have the privilege of wearing a bathing suit is shit! Instead of slaving away to try to “fit a bathing suite” it will be worth your time and investment to improve your body image instead.

Here are some reasons you probably feel anxiety in a bathing suit that has nothing to do with your body OR your bathing suit. 

• Thin privilege: The world is designed to praise the smallest bodies and accommodate them
• You constantly feel fat
• Your anxious you don’t meet flawed BMI standards for health 
• You have body dysmorphia 

If you feel like you hate your body in a bathing suit, it’s not your fault. Those thoughts actually don’t belong to you. You simply inherited them from a world of fatphobia. 

How Can I Feel More Confident In Swimsuit

Choose a Swimsuit That Fits Your Body 

Choosing a swimsuit that fits your body means: 

• The swimsuit doesn’t ride up uncomfortably
• You aren’t feeling pressure on your body from the swimsuit
• You’re not constantly tugging and pulling at your swimsuit

Choosing a swimsuit that fits has NOTHING to do with trying to please others with your choice or trying to cover up your body. Finding your perfect swimsuit is one way to reclaim body freedom.

You should simply feel physically comfortable in the swimsuit you choose. 

Pick a Swimsuit You Love

You have no obligation to be stylish by mainstream standards to enjoy the swimsuit you put on your body.  

Picking a swimsuit you love means: 

• Potentially breaking fashion boundaries
• Putting the swimsuit or bikini on your body you love even if someone else wouldn’t
• Choosing colors and patterns you vibe with, not ones designed to please others

Practice Wearing Your Swimsuit Around The House

Do a trial run of your swimsuit in the house before you hit the beach.

Some ways wearing a swimsuit in the house can help include: 

• Helping you practice getting familiar with your body in the swimsuit
• Making sure the swimsuit actually fits and is comfortable
• Practice looking at yourself in the mirror and just observing objectively

It’s important to remember that looking at yourself in the mirror to get familiar with your body is different than “checking it” for flaws. 

Stop Body Checking

Body checking  is when you measure or monitor a body part or your entire body by use of mirrors, old images, social media, measuring tapes, and/or scales

If you are body checking and then putting on a swimsuit/bikini you are certain to: 

• Immediately notice every perceived flaw in your body
• Feel guilt and shame 
• Withdraw from situations that require a bathing suit until you feel “good enough”

Remember to stop body-checking on social media. If you’re comparing your trip to the beach to others, unfollow those accounts. Practice following social media accounts from people in larger bodies or people that are HAES aligned. 

Make “Nobody Cares That Much About You” A Mantra

Think about all of the times you’ve judged another person’s body.  99% of the time the judgments we pass on others are: 

• Based on insecurities we have about ourselves
• Fear of who we might become 
• Fear of what society tells us is “wrong” or “unhealthy”

I guarantee you, every time you judged another person’s body you were actually thinking more about yourself than them.  

Happy people don’t go around judging others. It just doesn’t happen. There will ALWAYS be someone judging you.  No matter what size, shape, color, or ability level your body is.  Get used to this right now. 

However, the people judging you are NOT actually thinking about you. They’re reflecting on their own internal insecurities.  They’re too busy thinking about themselves to ACTUALLY be thinking about you. 

And when you start to judge another person turn the finger around and say to yourself “what is it internally that I feel I’m feeling insecure about or lacking that I can explore” 

Accept The Purpose Of A Photo Is Not To Be Flattering

Have you ever noticed when you see a photo of yourself you hyperfocus on your body and exclude the rest of the experience? 

Photos are weird like that! 

If you have a fear of photos, especially during swimsuit season consider this: 

• Photos aren’t a representation of real-life
• Think of the experiences/relationships that co-exist with the snapshot
• Unflattering photos are not your truth. They are simply one moment in time. 
• Lighting, angle, clothing patterns, etc. all influence photos. Not just your body.
• We will always zone in on a problem to fix in a still image of ourselves 
• Your family deserves to capture moments with the FULL you
• You deserve to take up all the space you need in a photo 

Remember, it’s OKAY to have an unflattering photo. It literally says NOTHING about you. 

Keep A List Of Body Positive Quotes

A simple body-positive quote or mantra you place on your mirror or recite when you’re getting anxious can help!  

Examples of good body-positive quotes to take to the beach instead of shame include: 

• My body is the least interesting thing about me
• Our minds destroy our mirrors 
• I am conditioned to hate my body from a young age. These thoughts don’t belong to me.

Put Insecurities “On Hold” While At The Beach

We ALL have insecurities.  It might be an unpopular opinion, but I actually don’t recommend trying to completely eliminate our insecurities.  

Instead, try saying these things to yourself at the beach: 

• I don’t like my thighs. But can I revisit that when I get home so I can take my daughter to the pool? 
• I’m feeling self-conscious about my belly.  But can I use this moment to connect with Susan who I haven’t seen in a while instead? 
• I looked so fat in that photo John took. Can I give myself space to feel anxious about this for 5 minutes and not let it take up 5 hours? 

Sometimes respecting our bodies and our feelings involves giving ourselves space to analyze negative thoughts. This does not mean we have to keep these negative thoughts as facts!

Understand You Have No Obligation To Be Beautiful

Social standards for beauty tell us we must keep up a certain look to fulfill our role in the “sexual currency” pool. 

Betcha never thought about beauty in that way. But here are some thoughts to keep in mind about Beauty: 

• It’s subjective. You will NEVER be beautiful to everyone. Trying to do so will rob you of your sanity and true value.
• Your beauty is the least important thing about you.
• The point of “beauty” is LITERALLY to serve someone else.  It does NOTHING for YOU.

Is There Such Thing As An Inappropriate Bathing Suit 

The only inappropriate bathing suit is one that: 

• Does not comfortably fit your body
• Reveals a little “too much” of the private areas (for spaces where covering up is a requirement)
• You think the swimsuit is ugly 

Breaking Up With Bikini Season Anxiety

How do you get a bikini body?  Simple: Have a body. Put a bikini on it! 

Or… whatever garment you feel most comfortable with.  

By comfortable, I mean: 

• Your desired level of modesty
• Not necessarily the swimsuit that covers up “most of your body” because you’re ashamed
• A swimsuit you enjoy the look of

Trying to cover up your body more likely won’t get rid of bathing suit anxiety.  Instead, we need to change the way we think about our bodies and the clothing we put on them. 

Feeling confident enough to walk into the world in a bathing suit you love and enjoy the sunshine is a powerful non-scale victory.