What Is The ED Voice and How Do I Shut It Up!

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Last updated on November 21st, 2024 at 08:19 pm

Is your eating disorder telling you how fat, worthless, and unlovable you are?  You are not alone!  This negative inner dialogue is known as the ED voice.

For exploration in this article- we will give the ED voice the alter ego of “ED.”

In fact what ED Says is that there are MILLIONS of bodies around the world that do not meet the impossible beauty standards set forth by diet culture.

ED does not care about:

  • your ethnicity
  • your skin color
  • Your gender
  • Your body size
  • your financial status

The eating disorder narrative will make sure you feel inadequate no matter what privileges you have or do not have.

Trying to meet the demands of the eating disorder voice will NOT shut him up. Even though ED will try to convince you that “solving the problem” will get rid of the stress and anxiety associated with your eating disorder demands.

Let’s explore what the eating disorder voice is, where the ED voice comes from, and how to shut your eating disorder up for good!

What Is An ED Voice

The ED voice (eating disorder voice) is the toxic inner dialogue we have with ourselves regarding food choices, weight, or body image when we experience an eating disorder.

By separating the ED voice from your own identity- you can create alter ego which will help you identify and dismiss the negative self-talk that comes along with an eating disorder.

People with eating disorders often describe a voice that seems separate from their own shouting loudly and clearly when they are making choices about their body or food. The voice of the eating disorder allows the eating disorder to thrive and escalate for several reasons.

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These reasons include the fact that: 

  • We take on the eating disorder as a part of our own identity
  • We mistake the thoughts in our head that are poured onto us from diet culture and systemic oppression as being our own original thoughts and ideas
  • We think eating disorder thoughts are unique to us. 
  • We think that if we are not meeting the standards the eating disorder demands, we are failing
  • We don’t want anyone to know that we aren’t meeting the standards of our eating disorder voice (which are ALWAYS impossible).  If our eating disorder voice says we are fat, lazy, have too big of a butt or don’t exercise enough and we tell someone what it says-they might judge us and think that too. 

infographic of what the ed voice says

What The Eating Disorder Voice In Your Head Says

The eating disorder voice will use many methods of persuasion in its tone. 

The eating disorder voice manipulates you by: 

  • Promising: If you just run for 75 minutes you can have that cookie
  • Persuasion: If you’re thinner, things will get better. Life won’t be so difficult and it won’t hurt so much. 
  • Fear: If you don’t watch your calories you will be fat.  Fat people are unhealthy and unworthy of getting the best things.
  • Self-Criticism: you’re lazy and undisciplined. I can’t believe you ate that- no wonder you didn’t get an A in chem class. 
  • Translating:  If they say you look healthy- they really just mean “look how much weight you’ve put on.”
  • Denial: If I feel cold- that’s because my body was built like this.  It won’t matter if I restore my weight. 
infographic of eating disorder voice phrase

What Does The Eating Disorder Voice In Your Head Do

The eating disorder voice serves a lot of roles.  It’s one of our natural defense mechanisms that is uniquely designed to overshadow emotions such as grief, sadness, embarrassment, loneliness, and many others. 

Instead- the eating disorder voice steps in as a one-size-fits-all all solution to silence any other type of emotion we might be experiencing.  

Think of talking about your eating disorder like being with an abusive partner- because it is.

Here are a few ways your ED voice is like an abusive partner: 

  • It demands a one-on-one relationship with you alone-  It tells you if you expose it- someone may try to take away what it can offer you. 
  • It thrives on isolation making you believe you are the only person in the world that has ever experienced a thought like this. 
  • It has high demands- and it makes you believe if you don’t meet the standards YOU have failed and are morally inferior. 
  • It will create rational steps to justify its validity. For example: Fat people have all sorts of chronic conditions like heart disease, diabetes, and aches and pains. If you eat that doughnut you will get fat.  You will never stop eating doughnuts because you don’t have control.  But if you don’t eat that doughnut right now, you won’t ever have to have chronic diseases like fat people. 
  • It demands you keep secrets- the eating disorder voice tells you that you don’t want anyone else to ever know how fat you are, lazy you are, or how you are failing. If you don’t point out what the eating disorder voice is saying to you- maybe other people won’t realize all these things about you and judge you. 
infographic on challenging the eating disorder

Anorexia Voice Vs. The Voice Of Other Eating Disorders

The anorexic voice is very similar to the voice of any other type of eating disorder.  However, the dialogue specifics of the anorexia voice may be different. 

For example, the anorexia voice may focus more specifically on: 

  • Achieving the lowest possible body weight
  • Achieving restricted food intake or low body weights with success 
  • Rituals or rules around all foods
  • Appropriateness of mealtime behavior. 

It’s important to consider that while the language the ED voice specifically uses for anorexia may be different than that of binge eating disorder, orthorexia or other types of eating disorders, the translation is the same.  

The translation of the eating disorder messaging for anorexia nervosa is still saying 

  • You’re unlovable if you are not a certain body weight/shape or size
  • If you can’t meet certain standards you lack discipline and aren’t worthy
  • If you can’t restrict appropriately- it’s no wonder you can’t achieve the A grade, the job promotion, or the other task you’re working on. 

In other words- the specific phrases that ED may repeat to someone with anorexia nervosa may be different- but they likely stem from the same environmental discomfort as any other eating disorder.  The anorexic voice is trying to adhere to the same diet culture rules which will always tell us that we are not good enough and our bodies need to change. 

eating disorder talk

Eating Disorder Voice Versus Recovery Voice

Some of the main differences in the eating disorder voice versus the recovery voice are: 

  • The ED voice keeps you isolated, the recovery voice will reach out to a support network.
  • The ED voice tells you exercise must feel uncomfortable and be progressive, the recovery voice supports joyful movement.
  • The ED voice has very strict food rules, the recovery voice practices food neutrality. 
  • The ED voice is loud, the recovery voice talks with Compassion
  • The ED voice is rigid, the recovery voice is fluid

It’s important to have a recovery team help you find your recovery voice! Your support network should include a doctor, a therapist and a HAES dietitian

what does the eating disorder voice do infographic

Call Out The Eating Disorder Voice

Learning to recognize the eating disorder voice for what it is, an abusive partner, and reframe the eating disorder thought into something new will help you reclaim your power over it.

I like to think of the ED voice like a yappy annoying dog.  An untrained dog is a nuisance to be around, walk, and engage with. But if we train the dog, if we recognize when undesirable behavior is about to erupt, we can challenge it.  

Suddenly, a trained dog becomes tolerable and adaptable.  

While the ED voice is likely here to stay, learning to identify and interrupt the ED voice will: 

  • Reduce the prevalence of the ED voice
  • Give the healthy voice authority over the eating disorder voice
  • Allow us to mock and laugh at the messages the ED voice sends us
  • Gives you the power and authority to take your life back from the ED voice
eating disorder thoughts infographic

Give your eating disorder voice a name

Personally- I call my ED voice bitch. And sometimes I have to kick bitch out.  Your eating disorder can be Tom, Sally, Ed or whatever other alter ego helps you take the messages of the eating disorder OUT of your identity. 

Giving your ED voice a name helps you identify it as an unhelpful identity outside of yourself. This helps to truly target the messages it’s trying to send you- and choose to accept or reject the messages without connecting it to your own identity.

Draw a picture of what the character of your eating disorder voice looks and feels like 

If you really think about it- your ED voice has a REAL image associated with it. Is it a dragon?  A funky-looking spider?  Your childhood fear of a clown from a horror film? 

When your ED gets loud, try envisioning the avatar you have created for it!  Speak to the avatar just like you would a real person. 

what ed says infographic

Treat The ED Voice The Same As You Would An Abusive Relationship

We’ve all heard it said when it comes to abusive relationships: “why didn’t they just leave! They have all the power in the world to just walk out the door!” 

To leave- we have to recognize that what is happening is in fact ABUSE! Your eating disorder voice is abusive because: 

  • It isolates you from your friends and family
  • It tells you lies about how worthless you are
  • It causes you physical harm
  • Its controlling
  • It’s loud, critical and demanding

When your ED gets loud, know that it is trying to control you through abusive behavior. This can help you disconnect from its messaging and break free of its demands. 

lined paper with the words dear ed, I will win sincerely me

Shut The ED Voice Up For Good

Your eating disorder voice is unlikely to go away without fully recovering from your eating disorder. Recovery from an eating disorder involves a healthcare team well-versed in eating disorder care. Your healthcare team will most likely include a doctor, a therapist and an eating disorder dietitian.

There are many in-person and virtual eating disorder treatment options available.

Your treatment team will help you to:

Check out my eating disorder recovery journey for more support in understanding the ed voice.

 
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Shena Jaramillo. Registered Dietitian
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